Not to be missed. No matter how bad you think it is, it finds a way to be even more hilariously awful.
Merry Christmas, to those who celebrate.
Over on the LiveJournal version of yesterday’s post, I had someone say they were surprised to hear that I was working on a project called KING KHAN. I thought, Have I not talked about this?
Let me give you a quick rundown on this project, what it is and what it will be.
Back in April, indie rpg company Evil Hat was having a pretty good run on a Kickstarter. They were trying to fund a trilogy of books based on their Spirit of the Century game, which is a pulp-adventure game with an emphasis on the 1920-30s, and it was doing well enough that they set some stretch goals. One of those was for me to write a book featuring a particular reader favorite character: Professor Khan, an intelligent gorilla who teaches at Oxford.
After some discussion, we decided that I was going to write a book that had Professor Khan visit Los Angeles in the studio era. There’s a mysterious death, a stolen weird-science maguffin, and lots of high-strangeness of the lightning gun/shrink beam/hopping ghost variety.
And it’s funny. At least, it’s supposed to be funny. There’s action, naturally, but I’m hoping the characters and situations will be amusing and uplifting. Did I mention that it stars a gorilla who teaches at Oxford?
Anyway, I’m nearly finished with the first draft (it’ll be a short book, probably 70K or less) and, after a polish, will send it off and get back to EPIC FINALE WITH NO DULL PARTS. No rest for the weary.
Pixar, right? They make good movies that are affecting and also make sense. Sort of a rare thing now.
Anyway, Pixar story artist Emma Coats has been basic story “rules”.
Now, I’ve mentioned before that there is really only one rule: Be interesting. However! Her advice is pretty good. I especially like #6 and #15, and I’ve recommended people do #10, #12, and #20 already. I should probably be better about #2 and #5.
But it’s good stuff.
Since folks are pestering me about it*, here’s a list of the old games I bought at Half-Price Books:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Elven Legacy Collection
My general rule is that I don’t buy games based on other media because they suck so often, but I made an exception for Harry Potter since my boy is a fan.
In truth, I have no idea if these are good games or not. I played Dragon Lair way back in the day when you had to put coins into a machine for it, but the others are completely unknown to me.
We’ll see how lucky I am.
* Note: This is not true. I just wanted to post this list.
I get my internet through Qwest MSN, which is reasonably affordable and doesn’t make me want to stab people to death.
The big problem with MSN is that their webmail is a complete fucking disaster. For ex: A friend posted to a mailing list I’m on about adapting scripts to prose, and my webmail response turned five or six paragraphs into ONE 225-WORD BLOCK OF TEXT!
Microsoft! HOW CAN YOU BE GETTING THIS SO WRONG! When I hit the enter key, it’s because I want to put in a line break! If I do it twice, it’s because I want there to be a blank line between two small blocks of text!
THIS IS THE CUSTOM OF MY PEOPLE! We call them “paragraphs.”
Seriously, how fucking useless can you be? How can this be a big challenge to you? Just leave my fucking line breaks in place so I can email people without looking like a dumbshit. Do I really need to change my email address/ISP/email client because of your incompetence?
No! No, I do not. I’m not going to change anything. YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS PROBLEM!
Here’s a news article that encapsulates so much of what is wrong with my country. Parents discover that high school English teacher writes racy novels.
Let’s start with the way it was written. The byline is “Staff” so I can only assume no one had a keyboard to type out individual sentences, since this reads like they tried to cut and paste the article from outraged emails. Maybe they could only use their mouse with the right click?
Let’s continue with the article itself: Why do these parents care what their teacher is doing in her free time? Times are tough and people need to make ends meet. If the woman has a second job, let her work.
Second, who cares if she’s teaching high school during the day? Is she reading erotica to her students in class? Is she pointing out the best porn sites on Tumblr (as opposed to letting the kids find that themselves)? No? Then STFU. If it bothers you that your kids know their teacher writes erotica, don’t tell your kids. It’s called having common sense.
What’s more, I remember being a teenager. I didn’t need any encouragement to think about sex in the classroom. I was a teenager! Thinking about sex was pretty much the only thing I was competent at.
What’s more, who cares if teens think about sex? Really, do you think you can control them that much? Quick note to those parents: When your teen rides in a car looking out the window, they’re thinking about sex. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s healthy. It’s what they’re supposed to do.
But of course I expect this poor woman to lose her job, since kicking around teachers is the new national sport.
Now I have to go back to this thing I’m supposed to be revising.
How bad is the bedbug infestation in New York City at the moment? We’re trying to plan a 4-day trip to Manhattan for the summer (after watching the Ric Burns documentary, my son is anxious for the trip) but only for a few days. We’re looking at the Cosmopolitan Hotel for our stay, but I need to be able to tell the fam something reassuring about being bitten in our sleep.
Also, other hotel options would be welcome.
Uncategorized: internet life is great! reasons i suck
by Harry Connolly
First, we were due to get 2-6 inches of snow last night, but something crazy apparently happened and the snow fell and stuck everywhere but right here in Seattle. I know there are some of you out there who are sick of snow, but I have a little boy here who wants to slide down a hill on a flattened cardboard box. We need some kid weather.
In fact, it’s snowing right now but nothing is sticking. I should probably bring him home a treat.
Second, I’m working on this thing, and it’s taking way longer than it should. Even when I devote hours and hours to it, I only plod through a couple thousand words. Tim Pratt, on the other hand, just kicked out an 8,000 word day (yes we are supposed to compare ourselves to other people, so hmph on you). It’s frustrating and annoying.
Third, with regard to the second point, I’m seriously considering a week-long internet fast. It wouldn’t be enough to finish this project, but it would help. Has anyone done it? What did you think?
My new post is up at Antipope: It’s about the (just passed) 80th anniversary of the premiere of Legosi’s Dracula. Did you know that Universal made a second Spanish language version of that movie at the same time as the Legosi version? English-speaking actors did their scenes during the day and Spanish-speaking actors used the same sets at night.
I compare them and discuss revision. Check it out, if you want.
This is the last weekend for pickups for the trailer for the Twenty Palaces trailer. I think so, at least. Production is going on down in L.A. and I’m not sure whether they’re planning to get every last shot. I think so, though.
Here are some pics:
You know what always improves a movie? Trains and train tracks.
Not what you want to find on the floor of your garage.
making books personal The outside world Uncategorized: beautiful everyone loves blue dog film harvest of fire man bites world the boy the wife words
by Harry Connolly
In fact, I returned home yesterday afternoon after picking up my son at my wife’s work. It was snowing then and it’s snowing harder now–it’s not accumulating on concrete but it is on lawns, roofs, cars, etc and it’s really beautiful. I know some of you live in very northern climates and hate the snow–it’s dangerous, too–but I find it gorgeous and peaceful. Later, if it sticks a little more and this cold I seem to be building to goes away, I’ll be heading out with my wife and son to cardboard sled down the hill behind our home. (Yeah, it’s good to see them again.)
As a followup to my Los Angeles trip, there needs to be an English word that means “work that is fun but also satisfying,” because that’s what I did this weekend. The book trailer shoot, (see day one and day two with photos of the main characters from books one and two, as well as the ghost knife prop, sets and production process) was exactly this sort of thing. It was work, it was fun, and it was very satisfying to do. Writing is like this, often.
The guys at Wyrd are doing a great job. Seriously. When they asked me what I wanted in the trailer, I wrote a script that seemed cool and somewhat ambitious. They took that and ran with it, making the shots more complicated, adding effects, motion, conflict, all sorts of things. Honest-to-God, I was amazed at what they’re doing. The actors have been terrific, the footage is beautiful, and the work everyone has been putting in is profoundly humbling.
But! “Fun, satisfying work” needs a word of its own, so we can describe some of the best moments of our lives and better tell young people what they should be striving for.
What should the word be? Is there one in a foreign language we can
steal borrow, or do we need a portmaneau?
Added later: To followup on Shecky’s comment on my main blog, I will now be promoting the word “vocate” as a verb form for vocation.