This week’s hypothetical

You are staying in a remote log cabin for a weekend, completely alone and totally cut off from the wider world. You have a camera and a phone, but you need to hike for two hours down a wooded trail to get reception.

On the first morning of your stay, you’re awoken by a loud crash. You go over the hill to investigate, and you discover a wrecked vehicle. It is, in fact, a classic flying sauce, which has struck the ground hard, tearing a long furrow in the earth and ripping a wide gash in its side.

What do you do?